In the evening I met with friend of mine and we talked about allowing yourself to say”No”. My friend told me: ”If he said “No” to me what would I do? I am afraid of being rejected. Thus I will not ask him and solve everything by myself.”
I often get the same explanation from my clients. Behind these words there are lots of pain rooted into their early life experience. The fear of getting hurt again causes the desire to defence themselves and as result to take control and make a decision for others. ⠀
During a session using a visualisation, different techniques to re-experience suppressed feelings and emotions, my clients can dig deeper inside themselves and find answers beyond their first explanations.
Clients may see that their situation had already taken place in their life. Mostly in their childhood. They lean how to separate that childhood experience from their current situation. It allows them to recognize how unfinished business affects their life.
If we would like to lean the easy way of accepting “No” from others, we need to understand that this “No” is an opportunities for us to find another resource. It is the opportunity, not rejection. Our life is so beautiful and give us lots of possibilities.
Pained respond to the rejection is a good sign of our ability to say “No” to others. Is it easy for us? It is essential to take this power of saying “No” back to ourselves. This is a gift to us and others. No hidden messages. Each of us can grow in this way. It becomes a funny game.
There is no point rejecting yourself by saying “No” before you ask someone. He or she may say “No” or “Yes”. It is freedom.⠀