Case Study: «Breaking the Unseen Barrier to Long-Term Relationships with Men»

Case Study: «Breaking the Unseen Barrier to Long-Term Relationships with Men»

In a recent systemic constellation session, a woman came with the intention of removing an invisible block that was preventing her from being in long-term relationships with man. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was hindering her. The only expression she had was, “I don’t see it. It’s something invisible to me.”

The constellation: I asked her to pick representatives for the “Invisible Block,” “Part of her Inner Child,” “Aborted Siblings,” “Her Mother,” and “Her Father.”

The representative for the “Part of her Inner Child” assumed a hunched posture, covering their head with their hands, expressing feelings of invisibility and fear, saying, “No one sees me. I’m scared.”

The representative for the “Aborted siblings” said that he missed their mother. He wanted to be with her, but there was no connection with the representative for the client’s mother. He also shared that he felt frightened to look at the client’s father.

The representative for the client’s mother expressed feeling anxiety and worry. There was no connection with anyone present.

The representative for the father said he wanted to disappear and run away.

Unexpectedly, the representative for the “Invisible Block” said he felt a sense of release when the figure of the “Aborted siblings” appeared in the constellation.

The client found this puzzling. Her mother had never abortions. This fact aligned with what the representative of the Aborted siblings” had mentioned. The woman’s mother was not the representative’s mother.

Noticing how the woman named to her block as “invisible,” I began to wonder: what kind of secret is trying to be revealed in the client’s constellation?

At that moment, the woman suddenly remembered that her father had some kind of affair on the side. However, no one had talked about it, and she didn’t know any details. I stepped into the role of the woman with whom her father had the connection, and I immediately felt drawn to the aborted child. There were a strong warm connection between them.

Then I placed myself behind her father to be a man who loved and adored this man as a baby. Slowly, her father began to breath very deeply. As her father accepted love from his father, he could look at his unborn child and his mistress for the first time.

At this point, the representative for the “Invisible Block” smiled and felt joy, saying “From now, I am not needed here anymore.”

Summary: This is where the Constellation ended. The woman said later that she also expressed a newfound sense of relief and clarity regarding her past pattern of ending relationships, particularly when they involved married men.

Throughout this Constellation I was extremely aware of how the desire to keep hidden relationships from others can have profound and enduring consequences. It not only impacts the immediate participants but also reverberates through the lives of their children from official partnerships. In this particular instance, the adult daughter of the father found herself experiencing the emotions and, to some extent, the destiny of her father’s mistress.


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